The Republic of Texas

by on February 12, 2021 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

The Tarrant County Sheriff needed a larger posse during the Second Great Depression, so he called on the Marines in his county. The law and Constitution did not specifically say they could not be peace officers, but the Cowboys were a fighter squadron, not a ground combat unit. Yes, technically, “every Marine is a rifleman,” but some riflemen are better than other riflemen. And a posse did not necessarily need riflemen at all. The sheriff wanted military police on his side, so when the local Army military police battalion decided they all harbored a secret desire to be Marines, he was there to swear each of them in. And then he ordered them to go out and do posse business protecting the county.

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The Republic of Texas

by on February 11, 2021 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

The Republic of Texas Marine Corps Fighter Attack Squadron 112, the Cowboys, became far more than just a fighter squadron during the Second Great Depression. They were a workaround for a Constitutional and legal issue that the Tarrant County Sheriff used when his county was under assault by gangs, mobs, and even Federal agents. He needed more posse members to protect his county, but the Army, Navy, and Air Force servicemen could not be recruited. But the Marines had never been addressed in the law. They were a loophole that the sheriff drove a truck through, used to smack the rioters and anarchists down, and then kept in his back pocket over the centuries that followed. He was a careful man, you see. Best sheriff Tarrant County as ever had according to the polls.

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The Republic of Texas

by on February 10, 2021 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

The Tarrant County sheriff deputized the Republic of Texas Marine Corps Fighter Attack Squadron 112, the Cowboys, back during the Second Great Depression. This was to protect the county from the various gangs and other forces that wanted to burn or destroy the place. Few people realized that the sheriff did not release them after the emergency ended. He wished to keep them in reserve, and since they were a reserve unit to begin with, it worked well for all parties. He called them to duty from time to time as the years passed on into decades, usually to help after some natural disaster. And as the decades became centuries, they remained Tarrant County deputies.

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Chief Win Big Game

by on February 9, 2021 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

Despite early reports on Sunday night that the Buccaneers were winning the Big Game, it has since been verified that the Chiefs won.

The story on how this happened goes back many months, when the league decided to fortify the Big Game and save it from being stolen by any biased in-person referees or other possible chaos. They were concerned that it would be too difficult for teams to get touchdowns amidst the current pandemic, so they adjusted the rules to allow mail-in touchdowns. This was merely one of many rules changes the league enacted in the months building up to the big day, to make certain that every point was counted.

The league addressed the issue Monday morning, saying “we understand how hurtful it would be for an old white man to win the Big Game during Black history month.” They were also quick to condemn “the very bad fans who dared to celebrate Sunday night without masks on, in defiant opposition to the rules enacted to protect our fellow citizens.” They finished by reassuring America that matters were under control because “we have put together one of the most extensive and inclusive touchdown fraud organizations in the history of American football.”

The first dividends of that effort were seen at 4AM Monday morning, when two mail-in touchdowns were found for the Chiefs. Conversions for extra points were discovered during the day, as well as two more touchdowns, and multiple extra field goals, as league officials placed cardboard in the windows to keep observers from watching their completely fair process.

By the end of Monday night, league officials confirmed that the Chiefs had won the most fair and free Big Game in history by the historic score of 50 to 31. The league then made a call for unity amongst the fans as this difficult time has passed and the rightful team has been elevated to the office of Big Game Champion.

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The Commercial Bowl

by on February 8, 2021 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Chiefs fans. It was a rousing match between the amazing commercials, the Chiefs, the Buccaneers and the referees, but in the end the yellow flags proved disastrous for the Chiefs. The pummeling was atrocious, the commercials destroyed all competitions, and though the final score between the Chiefs and Buccaneers was 9 to 31, that was closer than the game appeared in person. I personally have always been a fan of the Chiefs, having grown up in Kansas where they are very much the home team. Though there was something amazing about seeing a certain quarterback win his seventh Commercial Bowl. Though as usual, the commercials were the best show on television, and Mount Paramount reigned supreme in my mind.

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