The secret of jello is that it has a lot of protein and sugar in an easily digested form. That is why it is the first “food” that hospitals give you. In solid form of course. I took it at 2:30 AM on Wednesday morning in an even easier digested liquid form into what I thought was an empty stomach. I was wrong. The first two swallows of liquid jello hit my very full stomach like a bomb and I felt an urge that could not be denied. So I grabbed my trusty Taco Bell dog cup, assumed the position, and began my Olympic tryouts in projectile vomiting. I totally emptied myself and felt much better. I farted, burped, and my stomach began to gurgle. My digestion was working again. So I drank the rest of the jello and all was well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The secret of jello is that it has a lot of protein and sugar in an easily digested form. That is why it is the first “food” that hospitals give you. In solid form of course. I took it at[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4841","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diaries","uentry","postonpage-1","odd","post-author-medron-pryde"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4841","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4841"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4841\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4844,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4841\/revisions\/4844"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4841"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4841"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4841"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}