I love the holiday season. We start out by thanking God for what we have. And the next day we have the time-honored tradition of ritual combat over the best sales on the planet. Then we cut down a tree, stuff it into our house, put ornaments on it, and light it up like a roman candle. The hope is that it will stand there for a month or two, drying out the whole time, and pray to God it never gets dry and hot enough that it actually bursts into flame. We hang stockings from our fireplaces for a fat man to come down our chimneys and stuff with gifts, and hope a stray ember doesn\u2019t get caught in their fabric. We throw chestnuts into the fireplace, and hope they don\u2019t scatter the flames when they explode. We place multi-piece candelabras on our pianos and hope the molten wax doesn\u2019t seep into places we\u2019d rather not. And I haven\u2019t even started on the food. I gain ten pounds just looking at it. Maybe the happiest part of the holidays is somehow managing to avoid killing ourselves before we get through them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I love the holiday season. We start out by thanking God for what we have. And the next day we have the time-honored tradition of ritual combat over the best sales on the planet. Then we cut down a tree,[…]↓ Read the rest of this entry…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6945","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diaries","uentry","postonpage-1","odd","post-author-jack"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6945","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6945"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6945\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6946,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6945\/revisions\/6946"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6945"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6945"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jackofharts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6945"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}