The first remembrance for my mom is today at 2PM. At TownePlace Suites in North West Rochester, MN. I put together her memory board yesterday. I collected her photo albums. Her Bethany yearbook. Little things that were important to her. Anyone who comes will be able to see them all.
So I picked up my mom’s ashes yesterday. She wanted to be cremated. I’m sure part of the reason was because it was cheaper. But another definitely is that she had plans for her ashes. We will follow through on those plans before the burial ceremony on the 16th. And then we will have the ceremony and bury the rest of her ashes within sight of where her mom and dad are buried. And her grand parents. Where our family has been buried since the first of them came here. That’s the plan. And picking up the ashes is just one step in that plan. Right? You go to some industrial part of town, go to a nameless industrial building with a big number, drop down a credit card to pay, and walk out. Easy peasy. Right? Wrong. So wrong. I wanted to bring mom home. To live comfortably for the rest of her days. I didn’t want to bring her ashes home. I never wanted that. I never… ever wanted that…
Mom and I planned for a lot of things in the last few months. I bought her house and paid off the mortgage so if she lived she would never have another house payment to make in her life. We got me added as a joint-owner to all of her checking and savings accounts so I could pay her bills while she was in the hospital. I’ve paid off many of her debts, and really brought her down to owing very little in the grand scheme of things. I was planning to use one of the accounts to pay her cremation costs, but I just lost access to it. It seems she had a personal loan at that bank, so they locked all the funds in her accounts in that bank down to cover as much of the loan as possible. That was not what I wanted to find out today. It isn’t a full disaster. I have the money to pay the funeral home in another joint account, but I really wanted to keep that account in reserve for a while longer to handle surprise expenses.
We will be having a memorial service for my mom at Maine Presbyterian Church at 2pm on July 16th. This is in Maine Township. I’ve also seen it noted as in Underwood, Minnesota. Everyone is invited to come if you want. I still have to nail down if there will be sandwiches and drinks afterwards like was always the case before covid. The service will be followed by a burial across the road at Silent Vale Cemetery, four rows down from where her father and mother are buried. There will also be a much smaller ceremony on Star Lake, one of mom’s favorite places in all the world, earlier in the day. If you have a boat and want to celebrate mom on Star Lake with us, contact me or Uncle Arlan privately for the exact time and launch point.
Dying can be expensive. Don’t get me wrong. Me and Mom prepared for this. We spent the last few months making sure I could keep her finances running if the worst happened, while we hoped for the best. I bought her house and paid it off. And we did numerous other small and sundry things to make certain that things wouldn’t slip through the cracks. But even so, dying can be expensive. Cremation costs. Burial costs. Service costs. I don’t even know what all costs there will be. This is my first time organizing someone’s End of Life, but the cremation alone is a thousand dollars. I expect other costs to pile on, so I am looking for donations to help defray them. I’ve created a pair of donation campaigns if you feel comfortable giving something. Thank you in advance for any help you can give.
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