Hello, my name is Jack

by on August 11, 2011 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

One of the real screwy ops I will always remember started when the locals ordered us to kill a crooked Sheriff and Deputy who had killed our own.  High command told us not to shoot the Deputy.  So we shot the Sheriff and then we did not shoot the Deputy, by a centimeter, once a day, at random times, for two months.  On the 64th day, he shot himself.  I still say it was a guilty conscience…

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Hello, my name is Jack

by on August 10, 2011 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

In my lines of work, I sometimes run into people who think they’re real tough.  They’re used to people cowering around ’em and jumping when they take a step.  I don’t like ’em, so I just smile at ’em and talk real softly.  They really don’t know how to react to that.  Their bosses usually like the civilized conversation though.  That makes me money.  Keeps me alive too.  Always a plus in my book.

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Hello, my name is Jack

by on August 9, 2011 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

Back during the war one of them hippy liberal newsies that preached about how we deserved Yosemite Yards came around to grace us poor little soldiers with her presence.  Well, she asked me on camera how I felt when the government forced me to kill Shang for them.  I just smiled and said “Recoil.”  I will never forget the expression on her face.  I hear it got a trillion hits on the nets.

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Hello, my name is Jack

by on August 8, 2011 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

You know that sharks don’t get cancer right?  I always wondered if the companies making all those expensive cancer treatments knew about that.  Well, then the Peloran came, and their treatments cured it.  I hear the drug companies were real shocked the Peloran didn’t charge us for that service.  Of course, what with the war and all, we did pay for the treatments in a manner of speaking.

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Hello, my name is Jack

by on August 7, 2011 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

Lots of people are conspiracy theorists on everything from “who shot Kennedy” to “did President Smith let the Shang attack Yosemite Yards?”  They see a conspiracy behind every action they don’t like.  Well, the way I see, there’s always some group of people conspiring to make things better for themselves.  The problem’s the ones who conspire to hurt others.  Them I take a real joy in shootin’.

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