Jack of Harts

One year ago, I traveled up north. I got my hair cut before going. I wore a suit. I was going to court, you see. I sold my house up there, and the people buying it stopped their monthly payments a year before. So after a year of working with two different lawyers to get the house back in my name, and then telling them to leave, I was finally going to court to get them evicted. There were rising worries about the Wuhan Virus back then, but things were still normal in Middle America. I got the eviction order, to be executed on the 20th, and went home. The national emergency was declared 3 days later. “14 Days to Flatten the Curve” began, and all eviction orders were suspended in Minnesota. No one could be evicted during a stay at home order, after all. It wasn’t until August that existing evictions were allowed to be processed again, at which time I finally got the squatters removed. After they built up several more thousand dollars in utility bills that go against the property. And me. I paid to have their garbage removed. I paid to fix the worst of the visible damage they caused to the property. I finally have a buyer lined up, with an agreed upon price that doesn’t lose me my shirt, and a plan to sign the papers within the month. One year later, I need to get my hair cut again, and I’m getting ready to travel up north once more.