Jack of Harts

I listen to the Megyn Kelly show most days, and I can tell you that you should probably listen or watch the Thursday the 17th show. It is an interview with Sage Steele, a biracial female sports caster who has been on ESPN for nearly two decades. Until she said something that a biracial female person is not allowed to say by the those who think it is within their power to say what biracial female people should say. She is now a free agent and talks to Megyn Kelly about the last couple years of being canceled by ESPN and Disney.

One thing that she said was something I resonated with. She suggested that in the lowest parts of being canceled, there was some thoughts of self-harm. She didn’t talk much about it, but she mentioned something to that idea, and then went on. She had family who helped her, and she has come out stronger in the end. The reason it resonated with me is that the first time I was canceled, back when I was in my twenties, I remember the words “why should I even bother” going through my mind. And I realized in that instant that I could not keep thinking down that path. I never actually considered self-harm, but I bounced off that wall pretty hard. So I talked to friends. Family. And I did what I needed to do to move forward in a healthy way.

What I want to say to you. To those of you who are afraid of being canceled, to those who are going through it now, or who will in the future. Being canceled is painful. It hurts. Hearing people lie about you hurts. Seeing people believe the lies hurts. Learning that people you thought were friends will stab you in the back hurts. Finding out how many people won’t stand up to them because they are afraid of being canceled next hurts. The few people who talk to you in whispers in dark corners and say its all BS but they don’t dare say it out loud, make you feel a little better, but it still hurts a lot. The very small handful who publicly stand with you are a godsend. And the family and friends you have that stay with you will help more than you can imagine right now.

Being canceled hurts. It always will. That is why the threat of being canceled is so powerful. But if you hold the line, you will make it through the other side. Be true to yourself. Spend time with those who are good for you. Go live the kind of life you want to live. And if it shows everyone with eyes to see that the lies were lies, that’s just an extra little bit of icing on the cake. And that right there is the last thing to understand. The thing those who cancel you don’t want you to know. When it comes to living life after being canceled, you can have your cake and eat it too. And it tastes delicious.