Jack of Harts

On this week’s episode of Trump – The Presidency, Season Two…

Trump offers the Mexican President to send troops into her country to stop the cartels. Her bosses, the cartels, tell her to refuse the offer.

In his role of Troller and Chief, Trump announces that he wants to reopen Alcatraz. The left immediately turns on Nicholas Cage, blaming him for the decision. They vow he won’t get a major acting role ever again. So, status quo.

The Governor of Canada comes to visit the White House and pretends to be defiant, telling Trump that some things aren’t for sale. Donald was confused since he didn’t offer to buy Canada, he was thinking of just walking across the border. Carney says as long as they have the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, their nation is secure.

As it turns out, tariffs work, much to the chagrin and confusion of the mainstream media. The UK, not wanting to cut its own throat, negotiates a trade deal with the US. Despite a rise in the stock market as a result, the left still claims that tariffs are a direct threat to the global economy, global warming, and will lead to another January 6th.

Joe Biden is hoisted out of his coffin and trotted out to The View where it turns out, he’s the least offensive smelling thing on the set. “Doctor” Jill Biden comes to wipe his drool, change his Depends, and answer for him. Biden claims he could have beat Trump and the Harris lost because America is sexist; proving that he is, indeed dead from the shoulders up. He then proceeded to shake hands with an imaginary ghost that drifted across the stage.

In a surprise move, an American pope is named. JD Vance sends word to the Vatican that he will not meet with the new pontiff for at least six months.

Rounding out this episode, American forces bomb the Houthi’s into a cease fire. As it turns out, saying “Don’t” wasn’t as effective as dropping bombs. Go figure.

Will Congress do some actual work when they are back from their 23rd vacation of the year? Will a district judge order Trump to resume bombing the Houthi’s? To find out, tune in next week, same MAGA time, same MAGA channel.

– Blaine Lee Pardoe