Leaving

by on June 25, 2022 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

For those of you who are dealing with a loved one about to leave, it is important that you talk to them. They can hear you, even at the end when all they are doing is sleeping. I told my mom many weeks ago that if she wanted to stop taking her cancer treatments, I would support her. She was getting worse, not better, and there didn’t look like any possibility of things getter better. So she decided. And on Wednesday, before I left the room, I told her that if she wanted to leave, I understood, and I loved her. That if she was trying to hang on to keep from hurting me, she could go. I was good. And when I left, she left as well. It is important that you talk to your loved ones. Because they will love you to their dying breaths, and it is important for them to know that you will not suffer in their absence. It will hurt. It always will. Love is like that. But when they are leaving, it is important for us who are staying to let them know we won’t suffer.

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Remembrances

by on June 24, 2022 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

I am planning three remembrances for mom in the coming weeks. On July the 2nd, for family and friends in Rochester, we are getting together at the hotel I work at. TownePlace Suites Rochester. The one on 43rd Street NW, not Second St. I’m looking at a start time of 2PM and going until people feel like leaving. We have rooms available right now if you want to stay the night. There is a VFW next door if food is wanted. I could also cater something in if wished. Still planning all this out. Then we are planning on a service open to all on July the 16th at Maine Presbyterian Church in Maine Township in Northern Minnesota, followed by a burial across the road at Silent Vale Cemetery. It’s where our family is generally buried, and our plot is four rows from where her parents rest. Soon she will join them. The third remembrance to fulfill one of her last requests will probably be a much smaller affair, on or around the 16th.

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Home

by on June 23, 2022 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

Mom and I talked on Sunday. It was one of her awake and alert days. We watched a movie or two on the Hallmark Channel. We hugged. We cried. She said I had bad breath. Moms. Always looking after their little boys. And before I left to go home, I told her I would be taking her home to Rochester on Wednesday. She would be leaving the hospice. She took that to heart. She was desperate to leave. She was determined to leave. And when the hospice wouldn’t sign off on her leaving, she arranged alternate transportation. At 2:15 PM on Wednesday, June 22nd, mom left the hospice and went home to Jesus.

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Cancer

by on June 22, 2022 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

It is amazing how quickly things can change. One day you are looking forward to mom being able to get out of the Twin Cities and back to Rochester. And then you find out that their medical types will not clear her for transport. If there is anything I can tell those of you who will go through this in the future, do not let insurance force you into quick decisions. And do everything you can to research the options better. I knew what to expect from the hospice up there. It is widely regarded as one of the best in the State, with a long history of doing a very good job of caring for people in their final days. But we were not told that they are in the middle of a major rebuild, with half of their rooms down for construction, and their only open rooms are dual occupancy. Rochester got rid of dual occupancy rooms years ago, and mom’s mental health has suffered greatly in that environment. And there doesn’t appear to be anything I can do to fix the issue.

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Cancer

by on June 21, 2022 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

Mom is coming back down to Rochester. On Wednesday. A room opened up at the hospice house she was on the waiting list for. It is smaller than where she is now, but has individual rooms. No sharing. I’m hoping that will help mom’s mental state, as she has been rather disturbed by the random noises and conversations coming from the other side of the divider in her room. To the point that she had me walking out to make certain people weren’t spying on her on Sunday. Due to the phantom noises of people talking just outside her area. So Wednesday will be a big change for her. And I will once again be able to see her every day, which should I hope make her less anxious. All in all, I think the move will be very good for her mental health.

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