The sabertooth cats of San Lucas are the most widespread race on the planet. They were the dominant race on New Brazil, and had major populations on the other continents as well. They prowled the borders of the more advanced cat societies, on the edge of the lands were cats could live. Not too close to the watery shores, not too deep into the jungles, forests, and rainforests that shrouded the great cat empires. They were the monsters that ate unwary cats in the night, or overran small settlements and convoys stuck too close to the edge of civilization. Armed patrols kept them scattered, but they were always a threat to the other civilizations, especially during the wars and rebellions that waged after humanity colonized the world. And when humanity colonized the shores of those continents, the sabertooth cats were waiting for us.
I saw The Last Jedi on Friday.
It was a good movie. A good drama. And it was nothing like the Star Wars I grew up with.
Some of that we expected. Disney has certainly chosen to bury most of the Star Wars stories I grew up with. They wanted to go their own way, to be free to make new stories unfettered by those already written. They also, it appears, did not wish to make Star Wars stories.
The Star Wars stories I grew up with was witty heroes with quips and fancy flying and blowing that Popsicle stand before going home to celebrate their win with a stirring ceremony and a fun after party. It was Saturday morning serials full of adventure and daring do.
The Last Jedi is none of this. It is drama. It is good drama. But exciting (and adventurous) reading it is not.
I watch a lot of movies. I enjoy most of them. I left the Prequels happy and joyful. Even the last one that was the darkest of the lot. And even if JJ Abrams can’t figure out Star Trek to save his life, I love his Star Trek movies as a different take on the whole idea. Not a one of his movies has failed to leave me happy that I saw it. Happy to leave the theatre and talk about what I just saw. I’m generally pretty easy to please when it comes to movies. Especially action adventure or sci-fi movies.
But the Last Jedi left me feeling sad. Thoughtful. Depressed. I go to movies to be entertained. To have fun. To walk out happy to have spent some time and money on something I enjoyed seeing.
I am not happy to have spent my time and money watching The Last Jedi.
Landscapers on San Lucas are a different breed than those seen on most other worlds humanity has settled. The indigenous, alpha predator, sabertooth cats love how we taste, and so every town near the coast must have a kilometer-wide kill zone around it. Inland towns have two kilometer kill zones. The landscapers must take sniper nests and sentry towers into account. Underground sensors and popup weapons turrets are deployed in concentric rings. Defensive bunkers and wide motes are integral parts of every design. And landscapers earn combat pay when deployed to maintain those defenses, even when accompanied by teams of trigger-happy security guards. Visitors think it is a beautiful paradise, but those who live there know that San Lucas is forever at war with humanity. And the landscapers are the first line of defense.
Isabella is one of the nicest, kindest, calmest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I’m serious. Her picture should be in the dictionary under the definition of those terms. Why she ever picked Juan Jose I will never understand. I’m not complaining, mind you, but I always figured she had to have been Saint Isabella because it took the patience of a saint to deal with all of Juan’s shenanigans. And yes, I know that’s me talking. But he said it, too, more than once. An interesting thing is that she had a physical body from the very beginning. We were still operating under American rules back then, so that took some quick talking to get approved. But they’d already grudgingly allowed Jasmine to keep her body, so what was one more little accommodation for “cultural reasons?” Especially when she meant bringing in another full Avenger squadron for the Hyades Campaign. She was one more step down the road we all took in the end.
One interesting aspect of the San Lucas sabertooth cats is that they do not mate with a sibling, cousin, or other close relation. Children leave the family and spend several years mixing with other wandering cats. The young cats can wander hundreds of kilometers during those years, sometimes alone and sometimes in groups. And they have an uncanny ability to recognize close relations in those travels, even cousins who have never met each other before. They will often band together for mutual protection, and coordinated hunting, but they simply don’t mate with each other. Most scientists theorize it is a genetic imperative the Albion built into them, likely meant to promote a healthy distribution of their genetic code.

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