Hello, my name is Jack

by on September 4, 2011 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

In my life, I have found the two scariest words that can be uttered in the American language.  “Watch this.”  They are often later followed by “It seemed like a good idea at a time.”  I have said those words.  I know you might not believe it what with my current clean living and all, but I was a real crazy teenager back in the day.  I got in a lot of trouble, and that was just what they could prove.

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Hello, my name is Betty

by on September 3, 2011 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

In my life, I’ve come to realize some pretty important things.  Probably the most important is that we’ve all done things we aren’t proud of now.  We’ve all done things we wish we hadn’t, and perhaps fervently hope that nobody knows we did.  The thing is, it doesn’t matter who we were.  It’s who we are that matters when we meet our maker.  We all can change and become better people than we were before.

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Hello, my name is Jack

by on September 2, 2011 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

One of my jobs is sometimes tracking down people who have skipped out on debts.  Now, I don’t generally pretend to tell other people how to do their jobs, but sometimes I just have to shake my head at the idiocy.  For one thing, I only take big contracts.  For the other thing, I don’t lock bank accounts.  If they are in debt enough that creditors are on them, they don’t keep their money in banks.

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Hello, my name is Betty

by on September 1, 2011 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

I’ve worked with Jack for a long time now.  During The War and since, we’ve fired weapons more times than I can count.  Well…actually…I can.  It’s a figure of speech you know.  Anyways, when Jack says to fire the weapons on that Big Bad coming towards me, I’ve learned that the correct response is not to ask which weapons.  Jack pretty much always means all of them.  He’s not very subtle in that way you know.

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Hello, my name is Jack

by on August 31, 2011 at 12:01 am
Posted In: Diaries

People always say there’s some things you can’t unsee.  You know, like how some girls just should not wear hot pink spandex?  Or how you don’t want the target’s family to remember the shooting?  Well, with the right drugs, we can make it so there are no memories at all.  No child should have to remember the death of their dirtbag parental unit.  It’s not their fault after all.

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