Jack of Harts

Is it impossible for people to understand that guys and girls can be “just friends?” And by the way, I hate that phrase. “Just friends.” Like it is… SETTLING for something less if you don’t frak a girl. And speaking of phrases I hate, no, Rosalie and Rosalind were never “friends with benefits.” We were BEST FRIENDS for as long as I remember. And since we’re from Northern Minnesota, that definition gets pretty Puritanical. I swear, making eyes at a girl might as well be foreplay. Getting caught at second base is a prelude to a shotgun wedding. And dancing? With music? Without a chaperone? Positively living in sin! What do you expect of a culture more famous for bonking a future bride over the head while “off a Viking” and taking her home rather than… oh… courting them? I never did either with Rosalie and Rosalind. Not then. Not later. Not now. I hope that is frank enough for everybody to understand. Even those of you in the back.