Jack of Harts

Wander the aisles of the goblin market, where anything can be bought or sold, and where the bargains can cost a bag of silver or a soul. Imagination is the only limit to what you can find in the Goblin Market, and the imagination poured into these stories will surely stretch the imagination farther than you ever expected. You’ll never know what you’ll find in the Goblin Market until you visit it. But beware, you might take something back that you’ll never expect.

Few things represent Americana like fast food. Starting with the drug store food counters in the 1800s and going on to the standalone fast food restaurants of the early 1900s, dining out with food that was fast to make has become an American tradition as we rush from home to work and back home again. Just about every family in Middle America boasts a past or present fast food worker, and the Norman Rockwell-inspired image of a smiling fast food worker waving at the customers is an indelible part of Americana.

That is why Kamala says she grew up in a middle class family and that she worked at McDonalds when she was young. She wants Americans to think she grew up just like us and understands us. That is something most politicians do, to greater or lesser degrees of success.

And it is something Middle America always tests. Does anybody really think Minnesotans and Iowans stick deep fried treats in politicians’ hands because we think they grew up on it? Oh no. We do it to test how they react to something totally alien to them. Because is alien to most politicians. Most politicians fail the deep fat fried test in various and sundry ways. They take it too seriously, or not seriously enough. They try to eat it with a fork or a knife, or just utterly fail at figuring out how to take a bite out of something on a stick. Oh the amazing photos we get from all those clueless politicians who think they’ve got this handled and then prove that they absolutely don’t. Those who pass it usually do so by being some manner of self-deprecating or just otherwise realizing this is a big joke aimed at them and laughing along with it. With a laugh that convinces us they really mean it. Sometimes they tell us they know it’s a trap and aren’t going to walk into it, and we laugh with them. Because it is, and they just showed they were smart enough to avoid it rather than walk into it.

Yes, we actually do eat that stuff. And yes we realize it is a joke to people who don’t. And yes we roll with that.

Most Richie Rich people simply don’t partake in it. Like supermarket shopping sprees. They have people who get the food for them. Taking them into a supermarket is like watching Gorbachev see one for the first time. And we laugh when they react like a conveyer belt or a scanner is something out of this world. Because it IS out of their world, and watching them react gives us an idea of how anchored they are to OUR world. And that tells us how much they may CARE about our world. And about us.

This is where fast food comes into our cultural headspace. The Americana where people moved ourselves from place to place rather than using a moving service. Where we drove across the country to see it on vacation rather than fly over it. Where we drove into town to work and drove back home while getting a bite to eat in the middle of it. Fast food is part of Middle America’s culture in a way the Coastal Elite who get their food prepared for them by chefs do not understand. CANNOT understand. Because most of them could afford to avoid it.

That’s one way that Trump connects with Middle America so well. When a sports team comes to the White House after winning a competition, he orders in hamburgers or pizza. Not a five star menu. And this weekend, he walked into a McDonalds and asked customers if they wanted fries with that with a smile. Wearing a dress shirt, his patented red power tie and gold cufflinks, he handed people bags of food and talked to them. He did the things that all of us have done, or know people who did or still do. He put himself in our shoes, even if his shoes were still the dress ones he loves, and he walked on our floors and shoveled our deep fat fried fries. And he just passed the deep fat fried food test like a boss.

Love him or hate him, that is how Trump has always connected with Middle America. By doing the things we do and just rolling with it like we do. He doesn’t have to. He could stay in the ivory tower he built, with the literal supermodel girlfriend become wife that he managed to nab, and raise his children on chef-cooked food and never take them out into fly over country. He has the money and the position to do that. But he didn’t. He chose to step into our world. And he brought his family with him.

I’m a suspicious enough kind a person that I can’t tell you if he means any of it. If he doesn’t, it’s one of the best long cons I’ve ever seen. But I can tell you that tens of millions of Americans absolutely LOVE him for it. They’ll walk over hot coals to vote for him. They’ll shout “USA!” when he stands up with a raised fist after being shot. And they’ll cheer when he leans out of a McDonalds drive through window and raises that same hand to wave at them with a smile like a Norman Rockwell painting.

Trump hit a home run this weekend, and the news media that doesn’t understand the stunt doesn’t understand it because they don’t understand the world he just walked in to pull it. Yes, we all know it was a stunt. Yes, we all know he doesn’t really work at McDonalds. He could probably buy that McDonalds out of petty cash. And every breathless news person who tries to tell us how unreal it was just show how little they really understand our world. Or the people who live in it.

Yes, we realize it is a joke. And yes we roll with that. And Trump just rolled with it with us. And in doing so, he tapped into the national zeitgeist of Americana in a way very few politicians have ever managed to do.

This might be the biggest political stunt Trump has ever pulled off in his life. Bigger than riding down the escalator to announce his candidacy. Bigger than giving out free helicopter rides to children at the fair. Bigger than filling stadiums with cheering fans.

He asked us “Do you want fries with that?” with a wave and a smile.

This is heeeyyyyuuuuuuuge. Don’t make the mistake of thinking it isn’t.

Get out and vote the earliest you can. Whenever your State allows you to vote, weeks or days before, in the morning if you can make it. Ask for time off from work if you have to. Don’t wait until the evening on voting day. That’s when the lines are longest. That’s when equipment breakdown hits the hardest and delays hurt everybody. Go in early. Get your vote in as early as you possibly can. And when you go in to vote, ask yourself why did the current administration import 10 million illegal aliens according to their own published estimates? Twice that according to other estimates? And why is the current administration suing State and local voting boards to stop them from taking illegal alien names off the voting rolls?